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Radio Free Manhattan
Radio Free Manhattan is a series of radio show easter eggs in Crysis 2, hosted by Edward Newton. The audio clips can be accessed by walking near certain radios throughout the game. Broadcast #1 "Do not believe the media BULLSHIT, people. There is some weird shit going on down in this city, and those jackboot assholes on the corner with their little "C.E.L.L." logo and their P.M.C. paychecks signed off by tax payers like like you and me are not here to help! They're here to put that jackboot IN! This ain't America anymore, this is the United States of "knuckle under like the man says, or else." This is Radio Free Manhattan, guerrilla broadcast 'round the clock telling like it is and speaking truth to power! RIGHT ON!" Broadcast #2 "*laughs* People, you are not gonna fucking believe what I gotta tell you now. That hot shit combat tech stalking our streets is NOT, I repeat, is not property of Uncle Sam! No, no--we got trouble way worse than that. Because--it would appear--we have a genuine extraterrestrial invasion on our hands. *laughs* That's right! You heard me! Alien invasion, right here in the Big Apple! Now ask me what I'm smoking. *laughs* I gotta say, I don't blame you. You people out there are looking at me for the hard edge of honesty and news coverage and here's Eddy "Truth" Newton himself gone overboard on some monster from space bullshit! Well cross my heart people, cross my battered, bleeding heart and fuck me sideways. As if we didn't have enough with C.E.L.L.'s thugs stalking the streets, now they got mixed up with squid monsters from beyond. *laughs* Ah, life in this crowded universe, people. You gotta love it. The man cracks down and Mars men crack down on the man! Be a kind of poetic justice, wouldn't it, if we didn't had a whole city of innocent civilians caught right in the middle. We'll be back with more on this EXTRA-ordinary story after this." Broadcast #3 "This is Radio Free Manhattan. Wanna know what the man's up to now? Well, not content with flooding our city with armed thugs, paid out of your tax dollars, we are now getting reports of bleeding-edge experimental military hardware loose on the streets, and very likely out of control. Eye witnesses from the mid-town area managed to beat the media blackout, and the cuts and cell phone coverage, and bring us these terrifying warnings: It was like a walking machine, man, like, like out of those old Star Wars movies, or War of the Worlds, or something. Three legs, it made this screaming sound... I just ran. Just killing everything! Just blasting people! I just hid and prayed, I prayed to Jesus to save me, and Hallelujah, he did! But all those poor people..." Broadcast #4 "Radio Free Manhattan here, and here for those of you still clinging on in this shattered city. I got a message of hope for you people, or the next best thing: in a late-breaking and startling display of common sense, the powers that be in foggy bottom have rescinded the CELL mandate over New York and deployed--ohh, get this, people--an elite force of US marines to throw these tentacled motherfuckers out of our city! So get ready for some changes, people! See, some of you maybe won't know this, but you're listening to an old Semper-Fi alumnist, right here. Shocked? That's right, people; "Truth" Newton, before shrapnel separated his legs from his body in foreign climes, was Corporal Edward Newton, US Marine Corps! Hoorah! So I'm here to tell you that you don't gotta hide anymore from these newest uniforms on the block. What is that--touching faith from "Truth" Newton? Hey, sue my legless ass. The US Marine Corps does not have shareholders. The US Marine Corps does not have a board of directors or a profit motive. The US Marine Corps is staffed by men and women who have sworn to protect this country, and that means you, people, against ALL enemies, foreign or domestic, and that most CERTAINLY includes recent arrivals from outer-fuckin-space! Latest reports have the Marine force headquartered at central station, deployed across midtown. So if you can manage it, anyone in Manhattan listening to this broadcast: get your asses to midtown and the station. Make it quick, and you might have a halfway baked chance of getting out of this shit alive. Meantime, here's a little music to see you on your way." Broadcast #5 "This is Truth Newton, seeking truth, at Radio Free Manhattan - talking back to the Man. And I guess it was just a little too good to be true, right? A deployed Marine force, an evacuation plan that could have worked; a counterforce to those squid assholes from another star. I even heard old Sherman Barclay was in command - and I did tours under that guy in places you people couldn't even pronounce. So lemme tell ya - if anyone could'a pulled a winning rabbit outta this fucked up hat, it was Barclay. And what happened instead? Well, you tell me people, you're out there and on the ground! Phone in if you can, 'cause I'm listenin'. Got nothin' else but ears and time. Meantime let's do a little guesswork here. I see the water, that's for sure, heard the wave come in - heavy fuckin surf, man, heavy fuckin surf! And now, I'm doin' the math. The way I figure it is this - only way to get that much water into Manhattan that fast would be to take out the Rawson flood barrier. These squid mothers gotta like water, right? Well, seems like we just didn't have enough of it for them to feel at home! So they took measures to fix that shit. Now Canal Street IS a fucking canal. And you got waterfront rental all the way up to 14th street. Gotta wonder what that's gonna do to the Tribeca real-estate crunch! So, we got alien invaders and Noah's flood, all in the same goddamn week. And by now, you gotta wonder if this is just us, or is the rest of the world takin' this shit as well? 'Course you ''gotta ''wonder, because our beloved Homeland Security, media blackout, no-fly zone, and cellular jamming - as enshrined in recent law - pretty much ensures wondering about the wider world is all the Man plans to let you do! This is Truth Newton, callin' it like I see it, 'cause nobody else will, on Radio Free Manhattan."Category:Easter Eggs Category:Crysis 2